Rachael Kirkconnell on Call Her Daddy - the complete recap
Buckle up folks. We're back and there's A LOT to unpack...
After four years together, Bachelor couple Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James shocked fans with their breakup. For the first time, Rachael is telling her side of the story on Call Her Daddy, revealing what really happened in Tokyo, how she felt blindsided by Matt’s sudden decision, and what went wrong in their relationship.
Getting Cast on The Bachelor
Falling in Love on the Show
Their Breakup After The Show & Getting Back Together
Their Relationship & Challenges
The Breakup in Tokyo
Matt’s Breakup Post - Two hours after the breakup
Aftermath & Moving Forward
THE DATA
Getting Cast on The Bachelor
Had you been in a serious relationship before The Bachelor?
Rachael admitted she hadn’t really been in a serious adult relationship before joining the show. “I think my last relationship was a year before The Bachelor,” she said, explaining that it lasted about six months and was with a childhood best friend. She described it as a relationship that probably shouldn’t have happened, saying, “It just was one of those things where we probably should have just stayed friends.” (Note: Rachael is 28 now. She was 24 when she went on the show. Matt James is currently 33 years old)
Was there any part of you that was nervous about how quickly The Bachelor ends in an engagement?
She didn’t go into the show thinking she’d be engaged at the end. In fact, she wasn’t even sure she’d make it past night one. “I just couldn’t believe I was actually there. I was like, ‘I don’t know why they cast me, I feel like I’m boring, I don’t know if I’m good TV,’” she shared. Even when she started developing feelings for Matt, an engagement wasn’t on her radar.
What was your first impression of Matt in person?
Although she stopped short of calling it love at first sight, Rachael said she felt something special the moment they met. “It was definitely total infatuation right off the bat,” she said, adding that Matt seemed to feel the same way. She recalled their first conversation, which wasn’t full of deep confessions or dramatic Bachelor-worthy moments. Instead, they bonded over their shared love for Waffle House. “We were just talking about stupid stuff that probably made the producers so mad, because they were like, ‘This is not good TV.’”
Falling in Love on the Show
What was the moment that made you realize you were falling in love with Matt?
It wasn’t until week five—when she finally got a one-on-one date—that she let herself believe her feelings for Matt were real. “I was like, ‘Okay, I can actually see myself with this person,’” she said. But even then, she was skeptical. She questioned whether it was just The Bachelor bubble, where romance is heightened by extravagant dates and fantasy settings. “But even with all that in my head, I still felt like, ‘No, this is real.’”
Your season ended unconventionally—Matt didn’t propose. How did you feel about that decision?
Matt told her privately in the Fantasy Suite that he wasn’t planning to propose, so she wasn’t surprised. What did surprise her was how production reacted. “I felt like they were literally breaking down the set while we were still doing our final scene,” she said. “Like, they were just done with us.”
Their Breakup After The Show & Getting Back Together
When you first broke up after the show, did you expect to get back together?
Rachael said she was blindsided when Matt ended things, especially because, behind closed doors, they were happy. “Even with all the chaos around us, we were good together,” she said. They didn’t go completely no-contact—after a few days, they started talking again.
How did you find out he was talking to other women during your time apart?
She learned through Reality Steve, who contacted her brother’s girlfriend at the time, telling her that Matt had been talking to another woman. “And I was with Matt when I found out,” she revealed. She was upset, not because they were technically broken up, but because she felt it had been kept from her. “I just wish I knew,” she said, adding, “He technically didn’t lie because I never asked… but also, maybe he did lie a little bit.”
When you got back together, did you have a hard time trusting him?
She admitted she felt deeply insecure during the first year of their relationship. “It felt like he was the star, and I was just, like, his little groupie or something,” she said. Even when they went out in public, she felt like the world loved him and hated her. That insecurity made it hard to trust him, especially after what happened during their time apart.
Their Relationship & Challenges
What would typically trigger an argument between you two?
They didn’t fight often, but when they did, both of them were stubborn. “We would both think we were right and have a hard time seeing the other person’s side,” she explained.
Was there someone who apologized first more often in the relationship?
Rachael felt like she was always the one saying sorry—even when she wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. But near the end of their relationship, Matt told her she had a hard time taking accountability. “I felt like I was going crazy,” she said.
Did Matt ever express doubts about your future together?
Throughout their four-year relationship, Rachael occasionally sensed hesitation from Matt when it came to marriage and their future together, though he never explicitly said he didn’t see it happening—until the moment they broke up. She described moments where she felt he was overwhelmed by the idea of long-term commitment, but she wasn’t sure whether that was because of her or just his own fears around marriage in general.
“I don’t want to say he seemed scared, but I think that he felt the weight of marriage really heavily on him,” she explained. Matt had always been vocal about how seriously he took marriage, and she knew that his upbringing played a role in that. “He never wanted to repeat the things he saw growing up,” she said, hinting at his complicated relationship with his father, who was absent for much of his childhood.
At times, Rachael wondered if Matt’s hesitation was a personal struggle or if it was actually about her. “I would ask myself, ‘Is it me? Or is it just that he’s not ready?’” She said she still doesn’t have a clear answer. Looking back, she wishes she had paid more attention to the signs. While he talked about their future—bringing up marriage and kids—his actions didn’t always match his words.
The Breakup in Tokyo
So, okay, so we’re in Tokyo. Everything’s going fine. What happens?
Rachael described their Tokyo trip as a last-minute getaway after spending time in London. “Japan is my favorite country in the entire world,” she said, explaining that she and Matt had travel vouchers they needed to use, so they booked the trip spontaneously.
Up until the night before the breakup, everything felt normal. They had spent weeks traveling together, and there were no signs of trouble. In fact, Matt had recently told her how lucky he felt to have her as his partner, making what happened next even more confusing.
The night before the breakup, Rachael had a minor emotional moment at dinner—one that, at the time, seemed insignificant. She had spent an hour trying to find the perfect restaurant after their original choice was closed, and when they arrived, the place wasn’t what she had expected. “I started tearing up—two tears, literally two,” she said, emphasizing that it wasn’t a big meltdown.
Rachael admitted she felt pressure to find good restaurants because Matt’s career revolves around food content. “I wanted him to have something great to post about,” she said. While Matt reassured her that it wasn’t a big deal, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had let him down.
And then are you feeling like you’re disappointing him?
Yes. Even though Matt repeatedly told her it didn’t matter where they ate, she felt like it did matter—especially because every meal they had together was usually filmed for content. “Every meal counts when you’re on a trip like this,” she explained, saying she was frustrated with herself for picking a disappointing spot.
After dinner, they went back to the hotel. Matt didn’t say anything about her getting emotional, which wasn’t unusual—he typically gave her space when she was upset. They went to bed, and nothing felt out of the ordinary.
So this happens, and then is literally the next day the breakup?
Yes. The next morning, things seemed fine. They were getting ready for the day and heading out to explore. Nothing about Matt’s behavior indicated that he was about to end the relationship.
However, as they were walking through a market, Rachael sensed a shift in his mood. She noticed he was being short with her, which led to her pulling back and going off on her own for a bit. “We were both just annoyed with each other, but nothing major,” she said.
So you wake up the next morning, what are the vibes? Is he tense? Are you guys acting weird? Like, take me through that whole day.
At first, the day started normally. They left the hotel together and went to get food. But at one point, as Rachael was scrolling on her phone and showing Matt videos, he snapped at her.
She was taken aback and called him out for it. “Even if I’m annoying you, don’t talk to me like that,” she told him. She thought it was just a small disagreement—one of those we’ve-been-together-for-weeks-straight moments where you naturally get a little irritated with each other.
But after that, things escalated quickly. She went quiet in the car, and when Matt asked why, she told him she felt like he was annoyed with her. That conversation opened up what she described as a “can of worms.”
Back at the hotel, Matt started voicing concerns that seemed to come out of nowhere. “He said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worried about in a wife,” she revealed. He brought up past arguments and told her he wasn’t sure they were truly compatible.
Then came the final blow: “I don’t know if I ever see myself proposing to you.”
That moment changed everything. “I told him, ‘If you don’t know by now, then that’s not a good thing,’” she said. “You know me better than anyone—if you’re still unsure, then we probably shouldn’t be together.”
The conversation ended with Matt telling her, “You’re beautiful, smart, and funny. You’ll find someone who loves you for you, but I just don’t think that’s me.”
With that, it was over.
Matt’s Breakup Post - Two hours after the breakup
Where were you when you saw Matt’s breakup post?
Rachael had just boarded her flight home to Atlanta when she got a text from her best friend: “Rach??????” Before she could respond, another message popped up: “I saw Matt’s post.”
In that moment, she knew. Her breakup had just been made public.
⭐The plane was about to take off, and because of issues she’s had with her phone for awhile, she couldn’t connect to the in-flight WiFi. That meant she had twelve hours to sit with the news, unable to see the full extent of what was happening online.
What went through your mind when you read it?
“I was still processing the breakup privately, and suddenly, the whole world knew,” she said. She hadn’t even told her family or close friends yet, and now, they were finding out through Instagram.
She described feeling completely blindsided—not just by the breakup itself, but by how quickly Matt announced it. “He didn’t even text me to give me a warning,” she said.
Why do you think he posted that?
She still doesn’t know. “I don’t know if it was out of anger, if he just felt like he needed to do it, or if it was to put a nail in the coffin,” she speculated.
She later spoke to Matt, and he admitted he regretted making the post. But by then, the damage was done.
How did you process the public reaction to the breakup?
Rachael was overwhelmed. “I thought people would just be sad for us,” she said. Instead, she watched as fans turned against Matt, criticizing him for how he handled the announcement.
She also admitted that deep down, she had feared some people would celebrate their breakup. “I just had this insecurity that people would be happy he left me,” she said.
Aftermath & Moving Forward
Who reached out first after the breakup?
Matt. A few days later, Rachael woke up at 1 AM and saw a missed call from him. (They were jet lagged)
Where did you guys leave things after that final call?
They had a last conversation, during which Matt reiterated that he didn’t think she was his person. After that, they stopped talking.
Did you discuss going no-contact?
Not formally, but the breakup was definitive enough that there wasn’t much left to say.
Do you think there’s any chance you and Matt will get back together?
“No,” Rachael said firmly. She admitted that she still loves him, but she knows it’s over. “When someone tells you, ‘I don’t think I’ll ever propose to you,’ that’s your sign to walk away.”
She also said that if Matt hadn’t posted about the breakup so publicly, she wasn’t sure where they’d be right now. That post forced her to accept the finality of it.
Why did you want to speak on this today?
Rachael said she wanted to share her side of the story and, hopefully, help other women recognize when they might be holding on to something that isn’t meant for them.
“I don’t regret my relationship with Matt,” she said. “I just wish I had listened to my gut sooner.”
THE DATA
Time Range:
Matt’s breakup post on January 16, 2025
Today at 1am EST (January 29, 2025) — y’all it’s LATE here
Rachael has gained +64,290 followers since the breakup post. 15k of that was from tonight.
Matt gained +15k in the first week after the breakup, but he has since lost quite a bit of it. From his breakup post until tonight, he’s now at +3,051 but I anticipate this number will go negative before we all wake up and he will dip below what he started with on the day of the breakup. During the live stream of the interview tonight, he lost -5k followers alone.
A note from Suzana — BachelorData
Welcome back, what’s new?! It’s been a long off season and one heck of an ending to Jenn’s season. I’m excited to bring recaps of Grant’s season back on here, plus coverage & data on Traitors, Love is Blind, and more! I’ll be bringing some long form content in the form of videos & podcasts here too, so stay tuned!
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